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03-08-17
George W.Bush visits an elementary school and the 4th
grade class is in the middle of a discussion related to
words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President
if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the
word″tragedy″. So GeorgeW.asks the class for an example
of a tragedy. One boy stands up and says,″If my best friend
who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes
along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy.″″No,″says
Bush,″that would be an accident.″ A girl raises her hand,″If
a school bus carrying50children drove off a cliff, killing
everyone involved, that would be a tragedy.″″I＇mafraidnot,″
explains the President.″That＇s what we would call a GreatLoss.″
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President
Bush searches the room and asks,″Isn＇t there someone here
who can give me an example of a tragedy？″ Finally, way in
the back of the room, Johnny raises his hand and in a quiet
voice he says,″If Air Force One, carryingMr. and Mrs. Bush,
was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that
would be a tragedy.″″That＇s right！ And can you tell me WHY
that would be a tragedy？″ asks the President.″Well,″ Johnny
says,″because it wouldn＇t be an accident and it sure as
well wouldn＇t be a GreatLoss.″
乔治·布什到一所小学参观,四年级的孩子们正在讨论一些单词及其含义。老师问总统是否愿意带领孩子们讨论 灾难
这个词的含义,乔治·布什要求学生们给出灾难的具体例子。
一个男孩站起来说 如果住在我隔壁的我最好的朋友在街上玩,一辆轿车开过来并从他身上轧过去,那将是一场灾难。
不, 布什说 那只是一场意外。
一个女孩举起手,说 如果一辆载着50个学生的校车翻下悬崖,车上所有的同学都丧命,那将是一场灾难。 恐怕不是,
总统解释说 那是我们所说的重大损失。
教室里一片安静,没有一个孩子再发言。布什总统扫视了一遍教室,然后说 这里没有人能再给我一个例子,说明什么是灾难吗？
最后,在教室的后面,约翰尼举起了手,用平静的口气说 如果载着布什先生和布什太太的空军一号被导弹击落并炸成碎片,那将是一场灾难。
对了！你能告诉我为什么那是灾难吗？ 总统问。
哦, 约翰尼说 因为那不是意外,也绝对不是重大损失。
S ki Lessons Between my first and second ski lessons,
I was practicing on the beginner＇s slope at Mammoth Mountain
in Californi a. I began to pick up speed, and suddenly I
realized I had forgotten how to stop. That same moment,
I saw a young couple standing motionless directly in my
path.″Look out！ Get out of myway！″ I yelled. They did not
heed my warning, and a moment later the three of us were
up to our ears in snow. As we were untangling poles and
recovering skis, I apologized, explaining that I did not
know how to stop.″That＇s okay, madam,″ said the young man.″We
didn＇t know how tomove.″滑雪课
我刚开始上滑雪课时,在加利福尼亚猛犸山的初学者坡道上练习。我逐渐开始加速,但我突然意识到我忘了该怎么停下来。就在这时,我看到一对年轻夫妇一动不动地站在我的滑道上。
当心！让开！ 我喊道。
他们根本没听到我的警告。顷刻之间,我们3人都被埋在了雪里。我们抽出扭在一起的滑雪杆,找回滑雪板。我连忙道歉,解释说我不知道如何才能停下来。
没关系,女士, 那名男子说 我们不知道怎样才能滑动。
So Fast The widow takes a look at her dear departed one
right before the funeral and, to her horror, finds that
he＇s in brown suit. She＇d specifically said to the undertaker
that she wanted him buried in blue suit. She＇d brought it
especially for that occasion, and she was angry that the
mortician left him in the same brown suit he＇d been wearing
when the lightning bolt hit him. She demanded that the corpse
be changed into the blue suit she＇d brought especially for
that purpose. The undertaker said,″But madam！ It＇s only
a minute or two until the funeral is scheduled to begin！
We can＇t possibly take him out and get him changed in that
amount oftime.″ The lady said,″Who＇s paying forthis？″ Seeing
the logic to this argument, a very reluctant mortician
wheeled the coffin out, but then wheeled it right back in
a moment later. Miraculously, the corpse was in a blue suit.
After the ceremony, a well － satisfied widow complimented
the undertaker on the smooth and speedy service. She especially
wanted to know how he＇d been able to get her husband into
a blue suit so fast. The funeral director said,″Oh, it is
easy. It happens that there was another body in the back
and he was already dressed in a blue suit. All we had to
do was switch heads！″如此迅速
葬礼前,寡妇看了一眼她亲爱的丈夫。她惊恐地发现,丈夫穿着棕色的西装。她事先特地要求穿寿衣的人给他穿上蓝色的西装,那是她特意为他带来的。令她惊讶的是,穿寿衣的人仍然给他穿着他被雷电击中时穿的棕色西装。
她要求将遗体的服装换成她特地准备的蓝色西装。穿寿衣的人说 可是女士,只有一两分钟的时间,葬礼就要开始了。我们不可能在这么短的时间内将他弄出来并给他换衣服。
女士说 你们想不想要钱？
明白了这位女士的意思,穿寿衣的人很勉强地转动轮子,将棺材升了起来。很快,棺材就滑了回去。真神奇,遗体已经换上了蓝色的西装。
遗体告别仪式后,那位称心如意的寡妇称赞穿寿衣的人快速而圆满地完成了任务。她特别想知道,他怎么这么快就给她丈夫换上了蓝色西装。负责葬礼的人说
噢,那很容易。碰巧后面有个遗体穿着蓝色西装。我们只是换了一下头而已。 文冬译 2001
摘自：中青在线--青年参考
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